The 60,000,000,000 Rose
by Lady Kitsuna the Fox
Summary: A young woman gets sucked into the Trigun world...And encounters three other people from her own world...But something isn't quite human about her or the others...PG13 for later chapters.VOC, KOc..possible other OC pairings..OMG! I'm back! Updates soon! Y
1. The 60,000,000,000 Rose

Author's Welcome:  
Heya! Gee, it's been so long since I've been on fanfiction.net, it's pathetic! Which reminds me.THEY TOOK OFF MY BEST STORY! IT"S GONE!!! I DON"T HAVE IT SAVED ON MY COMPUTER! D*MN IT! ::coughs:: AAAnywaaaay, Just so you don't think I'm a wet-behind-the-ears author, I HAVE watched the Trigun that has been translated into English so far, all 26 episodes. 3 TIMES!! It's been awhile though. So please be lenient. I ALSO know that only one 'season' has been translated; there ARE 8 seasons of Trigun in Japan. 'Season' being a loose term, since in Japan they have a different opinion of T.V. 'seasons'. IF you think it is becoming ::shudders:: , a MARY-SUE, please tell me. I'd prefer it if you did it kindly, but if you wish to be bitchy about it you can flame as much as you like. I honestly don't care. I used to, but I don't anymore. Ahh, I'm babbling, aren't I? Damn. Well, I got the idea off a Trigun SI fic I read, The first Trigun fic I read, called, I believe, "A $$120,000,000,000 couple"(It's My Favorite! I LOVE SI fics! That's why I'm kinda using the same idea). I admit: It's pretty much the same: Girl from our world, gets sucked into the Wonderful World of Trigun, falls in love with Vash, he with her, etc. But, it's different though. It will be a little more serious in some ways, but that's just me. My character will be a little like Kristan, I guess. She can be overly sarcastic, and will thoroughly enjoy calling Vash names. I really hope the Author of that story doesn't hate me. I secretly hope she likes it. I also secretly hope she doesn't decide to take Wolfwood's gun and hunt me down like the miserable, horrible little eleven tailed fox I am. BTW, I don't own Trigun, (no matter how much I wish I did) Yasuhiro Nightow does. That's the person who created Trigun. Damn! This Author's welcome is waaay too long. Oh well! On with the story!  
  
^~.~^ Lady Kitsuna the Fox  
  
PS. Please R&R!  
  
********************** The $$60,000,000,000 Rose **********************  
  
Saria was not your normal teenager. She hung out in cemeteries alone, she read books over and over, and she was deathly afraid of potatoes (which will be explained later). But, in some ways she WAS normal. She loved anime, playing ice hockey, and going to the mall. Then one stormy day, one of her most treasured dreams came true..She finally got a Trigun DVD box set!  
  
************************  
  
Saria was walking home from the mall, carrying her precious burden tucked tightly inside a suede leather rucksack along with some other things she had bought. She began humming the ending them song for G-Gundam, when it began to rain. Hard...  
  
"Oh CRAP!" Saria ran hell-bent towards her house. "Crapcrapcrapcrap."  
  
Skidding to a halt on her driveway she hurried towards the front door, unlocked, and hurried in.  
  
"Thank you, grandmother!" The small house was her grandmother's, who was letting Saria stay there, alone, because the kind old lady had another one in a nearby town. "Geesh, you'd think I'd be used to all this rain, being in Louisiana and all.."  
  
Kicking open her bedroom door, She flipped on the light and was rewarded with sight of her white ferret, Pirotess, asleep on Saria's Playstation 2. In response to the sudden light, Pirotess gave a rasping hiss and rolled onto her back.  
  
"Piro, you better get up unless you want to become the world's fuzziest hockey puck.". Piro ignored her and continued sleeping.  
  
Setting the rucksack on floor, she picked up the snoozing ferret, placed Piro gently on her shoulder, and flipped on her TV. Grabbing the rucksack again, Saria began rooting around, and, after about a minute or so, finally pulled out what she was looking for; a brand new, Special Edition, Trigun DVD Box Set! She flopped onto the bed and hugged it to her chest protectively, squealing.  
  
Then proceeded to rip the plastic covering off violently, pull out the fist DVD case, and rip the plastic off that as well.  
  
"Oh, working at the Rec. Center for nine months was soo worth it! Now, for the moment of glory!"  
  
She popped the DVD in the Playstation, and put it on DVD mode. Outside, the rain got even worse. Then, right as she was pushing the rucksack away, her hand still on the controller, lightning struck the power box outside, causing a sever power surge, electrocuting her, and Pirotess.  
  
She blacked out, but not before she saw the image of the TV screen, and a swirling vortex of color.  
  
******  
  
Saria woke up to the loud, raspy hiss of Pirotess, and sweltering heat. She groaned; her head felt like it was going to burst!  
  
"Wha-? Piro..you.little.bitch.I'm gonna..Huh?" Opening her eyes, she saw a clear blue sky, and saw."Two suns? No wonder it's hot." Groaning again, she sat up. Piro was on her haunches, her lithe white body shaking. She emitted a small squeak and hid in one of Saria's huge pant pockets.  
  
"Sand? Where the hell did my room go? Wait.two suns..no sign of green anywhere.." It dawned on her. "I'm in Trigun? On Gunsmoke?" As she gazed at the sky in disbelief, a loud gunshot and loud voices interrupted her thoughts. She quickly went to see what it was, grabbing her rucksack, which had been lying next to her.  
  
Peeping over a rock, her eyes grew huge.  
  
Vash the Stampede had just directed someone's shot at a rock. Then, a giant boomerang crashed through the rock he was standing next to. He got out of the way in time, but the guy standing on the rock wasn't so lucky. She got a good view of the guy on the rock. She gagged. His face was so swollen and beat up..  
  
'I think I'm gonna be sick.' She clutched her rucksack close, but not enough to hurt Pirotess. The man who's shot Vash had deflected, and, Saria was guessing, his friends, grabbed Vash and tied him up.  
  
The men laughed. "We finally caught you, Vash the Stampede."  
  
"Couldn't you just be a little more gentler?" Vash whined.  
  
The men ignored him.  
  
Saria's heart was going so fast it was most likely going to burst any second. She needed a plan. She saw the beaten up guy's machine gun, but shook her head. That wouldn't work. She knew a to shoot a gun okay, but she had no idea on how to shoot a machine gun.  
  
Then she saw the variously sized rocks nearby. She mainly played hockey, but she knew how to throw a baseball, thanks to her older sister, Sarah.  
  
She gathered several of the rocks, slung her rucksack over her shoulder, and flexed her right arm. Grabbing a egg-sized rock, she took aim at one of the men standing near Vash, drew her arm back and.  
  
*THW~~ACK*  
  
The guy went down, a swollen knot the size of her fist on the side of the man's head. Almost instantly, chaos erupted. Men began yelling as Saria took aim again. She knocked another man out, and as she drew her arm back for another 'kill', she felt pressure on the back of her head and heard a cold, male voice saying, "Drop it." Her body went cold. The rock slowly fell out of her hand with a loud clatter. "Get up with your hands in the air." She did, her rucksack slung over her shoulder. Two of the several men left standing came over and roughly tied her wrists together, then shoved her next to Vash.  
  
'I hate my life.'She looked at Vash. "Hey, genius, don't you have any good ideas?"  
  
Vash had been looking at her with a slightly shocked, slightly confused expression. "Why are you asking me?" he whined.  
  
"Because YOU are supposed to be Vash the Stampede. That's why I asked you, you ninny."  
  
"Oh."  
  
She turned away sighed mournfully. 'What an idiot..He's cute, and he's my favorite character.but an incredible idiot.'  
  
Then, she heard feminine voice. She looked up. Milly and Meryl had arrived.  
  
She watched as they began to make idiots of themselves. Saria looked around. All the men were distracted. She slipped her hands out of the ropes 'binding' them, and turned to Vash.  
  
"You know, this would be a lovely time to run away."  
  
Vash looked at her, unsure, looked back at the other girls, then nodded. He slipped out of his ropes as well. He got up and began to sneak away. Saria followed him, readjusting her bag as she got up. She noticed that Milly and Meryl were also starting to run away.  
  
They all started to run when bullets whizzed past them. Vash ran next to Meryl, while Saria ran next to Milly.  
  
Vash had somehow grabbed the box of doughnuts Meryl had been carrying, and was stuffing them in his mouth. Saria resisted the strong urge to laugh as he dodged every attempt Meryl made to get them. She somehow found the air to talk and run at the same time. "Hey..won't.those.guys.follow.us?.If. we.go to.a town.people.might.get hurt!"  
  
Vash stopped in his tracks, doughnut in hand. Saria nearly ran into him, but stopped just in time. Vash turned to look at her. He was about to say something, but Meryl, who had stopped and turned , interrupted him.  
  
"Your right, Miss..Miss."  
  
"Saria."  
  
"Your absolutely right, Miss Saria. We can't let them do that. I've got an idea. I'll give you and your thieving friend $$15 to go and warn the town."  
  
"You're going back there? Alone?" Vash asked in disbelief.  
  
"We have to," Meryl replied. "it's our job."  
  
That said, Meryl motioned to Mill y and they went up the hill again.  
  
Saria looked at Vash. "Go after them. I can warn the town."  
  
Vash looked at her with an odd expression.  
  
"What? I sure as hell can't fight against anybody armed a gun, much less a bunch of guys armed with guns and on god knows what else. You do it."  
  
Vash nodded slowly, with the same odd expression, and started up the hill.  
  
"Meet me in town, Ok?"  
  
He nodded again, and hurried faster up the hill.  
  
************* 3 Iles later.. *************  
  
Dragging her bag along the ground, Saria groaned. Pirotess, who had poked her head out awhile back and who was now riding on her master's shoulder, licked Saria's ear and made a soft squeaking noise.  
  
"Yeah, I know Piro. I need to warn the town, not complain." Taking a deep breath, Saria screamed as loud as she could.  
  
"RUN! VASH THE STAMPEDE IS COMING! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!"  
  
The townspeople stopped and stared at her before they screamed and ran. In a matter of only three minutes, the town was completely deserted.  
  
"THAT was absurdly easy, right Piro? Better get in the bag." Gently lifting the ferret up she put her in the bag. She hurried into the shade of a porch, and sat down, gently setting the rucksack next to her.  
  
A few moments after she sat down, the cliff that overlooked the town, fell. Not soon after, showed up.  
  
He kept looking around until he spotted her. He waved and walked over.  
  
"Where is everyone?" He asked, looking around.  
  
"I don't know. They all ran when I said Vash the Stampede is coming. Nobody was hurt, anyway."  
  
He sighed with obvious relief. "That's good."  
  
"Where are you going now, Mr. Stampede?"  
  
"I don't know. And call me Vash."  
  
"Okay." She slowly got up, and brushed herself off. "So Vash, can I go with you? Please?"  
  
Vash gave her a serious look. "No. I really don't think that's a good idea."  
  
Saria rolled her eyes. " Oh, fine." She said sarcastically. " I'll just wander around in the desert, completely alone. And when I run into a giant flesh-eating worm and get eaten, or get captured by bandits and die, I'll think of you as I die a slow, painful death, and how you said 'No. I think it's too dangerous.'"  
  
"I never said that."  
  
"You implied it."  
  
"..."  
  
"So, can I go with you or not? I ain't gonna stand here all day. "  
  
'I think I'm going to regret this.' Vash sighed. "I guess so."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Well? How was it? I know it looks like I kinda copied from "A $$120,000,000,000 Couple", but I didn't! I'm sorry if it did. It just looks that way. The rest of the story will be different, I swear! Please R&R, ok? Please don't hate me! I give all the credit to the Author of "A $$120,000,000,000 Couple"! She inspired to write again! Thank you for not killing me! ..You know, now that I think about it, It seems kinda blocky, if you know what I mean. I'm sorry if Saria seems like a Mary-Sue chara, but believe me, she's not. She gets really bitchy when she gets drunk. She is afraid of potatoes. She's only had two boyfriends, and she is 19 years old. She hates dislikes tall people. 


	2. Water TroublePart 1

Heya! ::waves a paw:: Guess what? It's 11:38 p.m.! I was bored, so I decided to write another chapter! And guess what my brother showed me how to do? I can now make these things (©( Cool, huh? These too! ( Maybe I should write a rated ® fic. ::laughs idiotically and trips over tails:: OWW! Anyway, On with the story!  
  
************************ The $$60,000,000,000 Rose ************************ Chapter 2: Water Trouble-Part 1  
  
Saria sighed in frustration. Walking for hours upon hours and miles and miles, and then having to sleep on the cold ground was bad enough, but she was dirty, her legs were sore, and she was starting to feel bitchy. Her overly large cream-colored wool sweater wasn't helping. To top it all off, she was bored. She felt like yanking on her braid and screaming.  
  
She glanced at Vash. He had stopped, and was obviously looking at something. She jogged over to him and saw he was looking at a piece of slightly battered paper. She read over his arm.  
  
'Wanted: Bodyguard  
  
Ace gunman like Vash the Stampede requested  
  
Free water and room  
  
Apply at mansion'  
  
"This is perfect! Free water, a room, and I get to protect someone!" Vash said gleefully. Saria looked up at his face. He had a huge smile. She raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Vash."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Do you even know where this mansion is?"  
  
He stared at her for a few moments. "Well, I know there's a town nearby.."  
  
"Really. Well, are we just going to stand here, or go to this town and ask for directions?"  
  
"..." She sighed. "Then let's go already!"  
  
****************** 2 hours later ******************  
  
Vash looked at the wanted flier again. "This must be the place." He knocked at the door, and it opened. A rather short man greeted him. Saria immediately disliked the man. She remembered this episode. This guy had shot at Vash, and had been hoarding water. Without noticing, she slightly edged closer to Vash.  
  
"Hi! We're here for the job." Vash handed the flier to the man.  
  
"How wonderful. Please, come in, come in." The man was rather short with a weird mustache, and a hideous, but fancy, brown suit. The man turned to Vash.  
  
"Excellent. From now on you will be known as Vash the Stampede. Welcome Vash the Stampede, and.who are you, little girl?" The man asked Saria, as if seeing her for the first time.  
  
Saria clenched her rucksack's strap tightly. She replied in a sugarcoated tone. "I'm sorry. My name isn't 'little girl', it's Saria. Saria Vanavierra De Fanellia-Augustin Rose." She decided to use her full name. "And I'm not little. I'm nearly twenty." She added.  
  
Both the man and Vash stared at her in shock. The man coughed. "I see. I apologize for my rudeness, Madam. Why don't you and Mr.Vash come in here? I'll explain everything."  
  
"Alright." Vash said, glancing again at Saria with an odd expression.  
  
The man led them into a small sitting area, motioning for them to sit down. Saria sat across from the short man on a small couch. The man began explaining.  
  
"You see, I asked for a bodyguard because someone tried to kill me yesterday. Everybody is after the water that I own. Normally this wouldn't bother me, but I happen to have a very special guest staying with me." The man pulled on a gold curtain string.  
  
Two curtains parted to show a beautiful young woman in an equally lovely dress. She smiled at Vash and Saria. "I'm very pleased to meet you."  
  
Saria glanced at Vash and nearly groaned aloud. He was practically drooling. She felt like bashing his head against a wall. Then throw him in a pool full of flesh-eating piranhas.  
  
She turned to the short man as Vash ran over to the girl and began telling her about how he was going to protect her and began babbling about the wonders of marriage. "Can I see my room please?"  
  
The man nodded, glancing at Vash. "Of course, Madam."  
  
************ A few minutes later.. ************  
  
Saria sighed as she flopped down on the bed. From her rucksack came a raspy hissing noise. Saria rolled over and let Pirotess out. The white ferret came over and licked Saria's nose. "Piro, men are such losers. They're so shallow." Pirotess squeaked, as if agreeing. Still lying on her side, Saria began rooting through her bag.  
  
She pulled out the only clothes she had in it: a crimson-colored flower- print bikini swimsuit, a slightly long, sleeveless black silk shirt, and a pair of low-cut denim shorts.  
  
'I wish I had bought something else..Something that wasn't so skimpy.' She thought mentally. She was NOT going to stay in the dirty clothes she was wearing now a moment longer. She got up and walked over to the bathtub in her room. She turned on the water and washed her face, promising herself a bath later that night.  
  
That done, she got dressed in her spare 'clothes', put Pirotess on her shoulders, and went downstairs to find Vash.  
  
**************** Meanwhile, downstairs. ****************  
  
Vash sighed happily as he relaxed on a couch and sipped at a glass of icy- cold water. 'Aaahh.A beautiful girl to protect, free water and room..The only way this could be better is if there were free doughnuts.' Suddenly a light female behind him interrupted his pleasant thoughts.  
  
"Well dork, I see your enjoying yourself. Where's the lady WE are supposed to protect?"  
  
Vash turned around and nearly choked on the water he had been drinking. Saria had changed into some skimpy, dark red top and low-cut shorts that revealed a rather large amount of skin, not to mention the top displayed her bust quite nicely.  
  
She had also washed her face, he could tell. Her cheeks were slightly pink and wet from scrubbing so hard. Her lips were a light rosy red. Her dark reddish-gold hair was still in a braid. And curling around her neck, watching him was a snowy white, red-eyed creature of some kind.  
  
Saria glared at him and cleared her throat. Vash jerked his gaze to her face. He had been staring. "What is that?" He said, pointing to the creature on her shoulder, hoping she wouldn't start yelling at him for staring at her body.  
  
*************** Well? Was this better than the first chapter? I sure hope so. I rather like it. You see, Saria had bought the clothes she had in the bag for a trip she had planned on taking to a beach. I swear I don't mean for this story to be a Mary-Sue. I mean it. Don't worry; she's gonna be put through hell. Not to mention I'm putting in another OC.Pysche Ferriae. Pysche will also 'fall in love' with someone.Knives. And there is a plot to the story, I just haven't put it in the story yet. R&R, okay? THANK YOU!  
  
::does a happy bandit dance:: 


	3. Water TroublePart2

::falls over in shock:: I.I.wasn't flamed! Gee, I really didn't expect any good reviews. It's kinda weird. My theories as to why this is are I've been transported to an alternate universe God is playing a practical joke at my expense You people actually LIKE this fic  
  
I'm so happy some people actually like this fic.  
  
Renee Fay- Thank you! I'm flattered! I'm going to post chapters as quickly as possible.  
  
FlamingBird-::does a happy bandit dance:: I hope you enjoy further chapters!  
  
No 1 You Know- Thanks, I'm glad you like this fic. ::looks around nervously:: Ehehehe.Please don't kill me. I'm an endangered species, in more way than one.  
  
Hoshi-Chan- I read your SI Gundam Wing story. You know, the Dark Angel one. I was going to review, but FF wouldn't let me log on. Sorry.  
  
Draco-I love ferrets! They so fuzzy! And they squeak!  
  
ShadowDemon+Gengar- ^-.-^Don't worry: there will be a little Legato romance. Between another OC chara, of course. And yes, the K stands for Knives.. (I believe sleep deprivation is getting to me)  
  
BTW, if any of you reader's are interested, I can e-Mail you some spoiler pics of Saria, and some nice Vash pics too. Not to mention some really cool Trigun icons I found. Just e-Mail me or request what you want in your review.  
  
Disclaimer: I doth not own Trigun, nor doth I own FF.net. I do, good readers, own Pirotess and Sari.  
  
Please R&R!  
  
*********************** The $60,000,000,000 Rose *********************** Chapter 3: Water Trouble-Part 2  
  
"Wha the hel-? Oh, you mean Piro. She's my baby." Saria turned her head slightly and kissed Pirotess on the head. She turned back to Vash. "Now, answer my question."  
  
"Question?"  
  
"Where's the lady WE are supposed to protect?"  
  
"Oh. Well, she went up to her room to rest. She said she was tired."  
  
"Why didn't you answer my question when I asked it?"  
  
"Uh.."  
  
"Whatever. So, you wanna go get dinner or something?"  
  
"Dinner sounds wonderful!" Vash said, grinning.  
  
******* As they ate, they talked.  
  
"So," Vash said, swallowing a large bit of food. "where'd you get her?"  
  
Saria looked up from teasing Pirotess with a piece of chicken. "Her?"  
  
Vash pointed to Piro.  
  
"My sister."  
  
"You have a sister?"  
  
"Correction. HAD a sister."  
  
"Had?"  
  
"She's dead." Saria said stiffly.  
  
Vash looked sorrowful. "Gee, I'm sorry."  
  
"That's okay. It's not your fault she died. She chose to end her own life."  
  
"She what?!"  
  
"Nothing."  
  
A few tense moments passed, and Saria stood up abruptly. "Excuse me. I'm going to go take a bath." She picked up Pirotess, putting the ferret on her shoulder. She stalked out of the room.  
  
*** Saria slammed her door shut. She set Pirotess on the dresser that stood against the wall. 'Why am I so angry?' Saria asked herself mentally as she stripped off the few clothes she had on. She stomped over to the tub that resided near the middle of her room. She turned on the water, running the cool water over her slender fingers. 'I should apologize to him later. I was rude.' Turning off the water, she knelt near the tub and untied the slender black ribbon that held her braid together. Her hair, finally free of its confinement, floated around her, touching the floor. Saria then got up and rustled through her rucksack, pulling out the sleeveless, low-cut black silk shirt.  
  
'I guess this'll do as a nightshirt.' She walked over to the tub, set the shirt next to it, and gingerly climbed in. She relaxed, letting the cool water flow over her body. She dunked her head under the water, rinsing her hair.  
  
Lying back, she finger-combed through her wet hair as she tried to remember what else happened in this episode. 'Man! What happened in this episode.wait.Didn't Vash peek in on that girl? What if he.naw, he wouldn't.' Saria deliberately avoided looking at the window. But after a few moments.she couldn't stop herself. She looked towards the window.  
  
She froze. There he was, right outside her window! But, it appeared his coat was giving him problems; he couldn't get it out of the way. Saria hissed angrily. She rose, soaking wet, and hurriedly put on her black silk shirt, not noticing that the shirt got soaked, clinging to her body like a second skin. She carefully tiptoed to the window, grabbing a table lamp as she passed.  
  
Saria slowly opened the window, and asked in a falsely cheerful voice, "Need some help, Vash?"  
  
Vash froze as she spoke: then it clicked. "I'm in trouble."  
  
"Yes, you perverted little bastard, you are in BIG trouble. And you know what? I'M GOING TO F*CKING KILL YOU, YOU PERVERTED FREAK!" She screamed the last part as she grabbed his arm and threw him into the room. She then proceeded to bash him in the head with the lamp over and over and over, each time hearing an 'ouch' from Vash.  
  
After a few minutes she stopped, but only then because her arm was getting tired. Saria looked the lamp; the lamp was doomed. It would never light up a room again. Poor lamp. She looked down at the unconscious and beaten form of Vash lying on the floor. Saria had an inner urge to dance on his back and laugh manically. Well, she couldn't just leave him there on the floor, however much she wanted to.  
  
She dragged the pulverized Vash, who at the moment was probably suffering from internal bleeding, to the bed and somehow managed to put him on it. She also managed to pull off his boots and his red coat. She flung them across the room, and sat down next to him on the bed.  
  
Looking at his face, she resisted the sudden urge to run her hand along the side of his face. 'He looks so angelic.he's handsome.when he's asleep anyway.' Sighing, she grabbed the clothes she had been wearing before, the cream-colored sweater and dark gray cargo pants, washed them and laid them across the floor on top of a towel. She also put on the bottom half of her bikini. She sure as hell wasn't going to run around in nothing but a shirt that barely covered her ass.  
  
Saria looked back at Vash. He was sleeping. She walked over and sat on the edge of the bed. 'Man, why can't this doofus be this peaceful when he's awake?' "Whatta idiot." She muttered under her breath. 'He should wake up soon.I think.'  
  
Suddenly, Vash's arm shot out and grabbed her by the waist, pulling her down. Saria suppressed a scream of surprise. He snuggled up against her, his arm draped across her waist. He was snoring slightly, showing he was still asleep.  
  
Saria was barely breathing. 'Is he really asleep?' She tried to get up, but his arm held her firmly down, and as if in response to her trying to get up, he pulled her closer, her back touching his chest. Vash sighed in his sleep. Saria stiffened. Then smiled. Evilly.  
  
She curled up, snuggling up against Vash's chest, and giggled. Saria felt a shiver go through Vash; he obviously liked the closeness. She somehow managed to turn in his hold. "Vaaash..I know your awake..and if you don't let me go." She said silkily, putting her hand lightly on his cheek. "You will die the slowest, most painful death I can think of. YOU F*CKING HEAR ME????" She slapped his face.  
  
His grip loosened and she bolted off the bed. Sitting up on the bed, he put his hand to his face, holding it to the growing red mark on his cheek, and giving her a sappy look.  
  
"Aww, poor wittle Vash. Did I hurt you? Do you want to find out why I was nick-named 'Hell Fox' in high school'?" She laughed manically, her eyes glinting.  
  
"N-n-noo.." He looked a little scared.  
  
Saria grinned coldy, putting her hand on her hip. "Then I suggest you leave the room before I kill you. Violently."  
  
He bolted out of the room, grabbing his coat and boots on the way out. Saria sighed as she shut the door behind him. She giggled, then got dressed in her bikini top and shorts again. She stuffed her things back in her rucksack, even though her other outfit was still slightly damp.  
  
Whistling to Pirotess, she gently put the ferret in the rucksack, and put on her black retro boots. It was almost time for Vash to discover the man with the weird mustache and lady they were supposed to be protecting were missing.  
  
**** About thirty minutes later, on a nearby cliff **** "Well, at least they won't need to buy water anymore." Saria grumbled darkly, ringing out the water in her hair.  
  
She noticed Vash smiled down at her for that. She blushed and turned away.  
  
"The way.you moved.Did you do that on purpose, or was it.just luck?" The woman asked him.  
  
Vash gave a small laugh and scratched the back of his neck. "Gee, I don't know. A little of both, I guess."  
  
"If you really meant to do that..I'd really believe you are ash the Stampede."  
  
Vash smiled.  
  
"Vash.."  
  
Vash turned to Saria. "What?"  
  
"The next time you pull a stunt like you did earlier, I'll carve your heart out. With a spoon."  
  
**************************  
  
Well? Is it better than last chapter? I'm sorry I haven't posted anything. I've had writers block, not to mention I've been at camp all week. BTW, I think I'll give you a bit of an idea about what's gonna happen in the next chapter. Ever wonder what would happen if Saria was wearing that bikini top of hers in a bar, and somebody fired a gun, and it cut the straps that held the top on, and the top fell off, and Vash saw? So do I. That's why I aim to find out.BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! ::chases tails:: Please R&R!! 


	4. Gun Trouble and Flying Bullets

::groans:: I've got the C.S.F.H.(Camp Songs From Hell) stuck in my head.have urge to write next chapter.Thank you to Odie-san for not flaming me about the grammatical errors.I noticed them after I posted the chapters.sorry about that. Anyway, I'm sure you want to read this chapter now. I don't own Trigun, though I wish I did. Please R&R!  
  
************************ The $$60,000,000,000 Rose ************************ Chapter 4: Gun Trouble and Flying Bullets  
  
"WHADDA YA MEAN, ONLY ONE FREAKING ROOM?!?" Saria yelled at the terrified man behind the hotel check-in counter, her amber-flecked dark emerald green eyes glinting dangerously. Earlier, Vash had said he had wanted to find some man named Frank, so Saria had offered to check them both into the hotel. However, she had discovered there was only one room left in the entire hotel that wasn't occupied. The thought of having to share a one-bed hotel room with Vash didn't sit too well with her.  
  
"I-I-I'm sorry M-m-miss! We're c-completely booked! I can o-offer the l- last room for only $$78 if you wish." Saria glared at the man darkly for a moment, before nodding her head stiffly. "Fine." She forked over the money. "But if you hear some one being thrown out the window or something, don't worry about."  
  
Grabbing the room keys from the trembling man, she stomped up the stairs towards the room, her rucksack and Vash's bag firmly in her grasp. She reached the room, opened the door, and threw Vash's bag against the wall, putting her own bag on the nearby bed. Piro poked her head out, squeaking.  
  
Saria gently lifted her beloved ferret out, placing her on her shoulder. Pirotess squeaked softly, licking Saria's ear. Saria smiled as she walked over to the mirror hanging on the wall left to the window.  
  
Saria was wearing her black silk top, and gray cargo pants. Her nearly floor length reddish-blond hair was now in a ponytail, tied with her black ribbon.  
  
"Piro?" Pirotess squeaked at Saria. "Could you stay in one of my pant pockets and sleep? I'm going to go find Vash." Pirotess hissed and crawled down to the floor, ran to the bed, crawled up and lay down on the pillow.  
  
"Guess that's a no.Well, see ya later Piro!" Saria walked out of the room, grabbing the remaining money that Vash had given her for the hotel fee.  
  
***** A few minutes later. *****  
  
Saria was turning a corner, grumbling under her breath about how certain green-eyed blonds deserve to burn in hell for all eternity, when she heard a loud commotion, and a familiar voice yelling for help.  
  
Running towards the large crowd that had congregated around Vash, she nearly face-vaulted. A drunken guy had Vash down on the ground, and had just kissed him! A huge sweat drop appeared on the back of her head. Just then, Vash spotted her.  
  
"SARRIAAAAA HELLP MEEEEEEEE!!!!" Instead of going to help him, Saria batted her eyelashes, put her hand next to her face and waved her fingers at him like a little girl.  
  
"Oh no, no no no. I would never interrupt true love! I never knew you were gay, Vash! You look sooo happy! Guess I don't need to worry about the fact we have to share a single-bed hotel room tonight!" She called out the last part girlishly.  
  
She blew a kiss to him, and walked towards a nearby clothing and fabric store, waving back at him. She heard his yells as she walked into the dimly lighted store. The kind-faced woman at the counter smiled at her warmly.  
  
"Something I can help you with, dear?"  
  
Saria smiled back. "Could I buy a large men's shirt and a large red bandana? And some underclothes, too, please." The woman went into a back room, and a few moments later, came back with the requested items.  
  
"Anything else, my dear?" Saria was about to shake her head, but stopped. "Uh, a needle, a spool of thread-any color-, and.oh! I know! Pink ribbon!" The woman got the items, and rung it up. "That will be $$13, please." Saria slapped the money on the counter, and the woman put it all in a paper bag, and handed it to Saria.  
  
Humming to herself, Saria proceeded to go to various shops and in turn purchased: a tin of dry crackers, a canteen, dried fruit for Pirotess, a toothbrush and a tube of toothpaste, a brush, a rucksack that was bigger than the one she had, two pairs of small silver hoop earrings, a pen and notebook, a simple black choker, two small blankets, a pair of new boots, and finally, the most expensive item: A gun and bullets, complete with a thigh holster.  
  
The gun was silver, and elegant looking, the barrel a little thin. It had a design engraved on it: a rose vine trailing around the barrel. Saria had no earthly idea what the gun type was called, but it was the design that had caught her eye. She was a pretty good shot back home, thanks to her sister.  
  
She headed back to the hotel, as the sky darkened. It was completely dark except for the stars and moons when she got there. Before she had the chance to walk in the door, she was stopped by a male voice.  
  
"There you are..Saria..found you.." She turned around, her purchases in her arms. There was Vash with some weird headband, and the man who had kissed him earlier. "What do you want now, moron?"  
  
"Hey brotha.*hic*.Is this the chickie you wuz looking for? Come on, just tell her and lets go drink some more!" The man said.  
  
"Ok..Hey, Saria..I'm staying with my new friend tonight.See ya tomorrow!" That said, Vash and the drunk man wandered off into the night, leaving a confused Saria holding her packages.  
  
**************** In the morning.. ****************  
  
"Mmmm.Here Piro-chan, have some bacon.." Saria said, putting down a small plate with a strip of bacon and a bit of egg for her ferret. Saria took a bite out of her own breakfast of pancakes.  
  
She sighed with satisfaction. She had slept in the shirt she had bought the other day, and had spent part of the evening transferring her things into her new bag. She now wore her bikini top and shorts. However, she also wore her new choker, boots and earrings. Three silver earrings adorned her left ear, and one in her right. Her hair was completely down, almost trailing on the ground.  
  
"Ahh, nothing like a cup of tea in the morning, eh Pirotess?" Saria took a sip from her tea saucer, and then took another bite of pancake.  
  
She had just taken another sip of tea when she heard loud gunfire outside, the sudden loud noise almost making her choke. She practically flew to the window.  
  
"Oh, for the love of-What the hell are those guys thinking? Robbing a bank in broad daylight? Geez." She hurried to the nightstand next to her bed and strapped her gun to her right leg.  
  
"Piro, you stay here. I'll go see what's going on, okay?" Saria hurried out the door, out of the hotel and into the street.  
  
She arrived just in time to hear one of the men robbing the bank speak.  
  
"Behold, the one, the only.VASH THE STAMPEDE!"  
  
Saria nearly face-vaulted. People began murmuring as a man sitting under an umbrella got up. As he gave a short speech about him being Vash the Stampede, Saria noticed a certain blond idiot out of the corner of her eye. Somewhere Vash had found a trashcan, and was wearing the lid like a hat. He walked towards the robbers, but stopped when the fired at his feet, right when he reached their getaway car.  
  
He tapped his boot on the ground, and two blades came out on both sides, connecting at the toe. Vash kicked the closest tire, putting a hole in it. All the air came out.  
  
"Gee, looks like you won't be escaping in that."  
  
Obviously the robbers were outraged.  
  
"How dare you!"  
  
"Do you know who your dealing with? This is the one and only Vash the Stampede!"  
  
Vash looked up from twisting the arm of a robber who had come too close.  
  
"Really? I was under the impression that he was a bit more handsome." The guy whose arm he twisted fainted and fell to the ground.  
  
"Are you implying that I am not Vash the Stampede?!" The man pulled out a huge gun, and fired.  
  
Vash used the trashcan lid to block the bullets, and dove to the side. One of the robbers aimed a gun at Vash.  
  
Saria pulled out her own gun, and walked forward, pressing the gun against the back of the guy's neck.  
  
"Drop it if want to live, buster." The gun fell out of the robber's hand and clattered on the ground. Saria kicked it away and knocked the man out with the butt of her gun.  
  
By now, Vash was standing up again. He stuck his hand in his pocket and made a gun shape.  
  
"Well, lets just see if you're the real Vash the Stampede."  
  
The phony 'Vash' was about to fire when an older lady walked up, a slightly rusty gun in her hands.  
  
"D-don't move! This is a original F-Frank Special! Don't think I'll m-miss just because I'm old!"  
  
"What IS THIS?!?" The phony 'Vash' cried.  
  
Slowly, more people stepped up, guns in hand, until it seemed like the entire town had guns pointed at the robbers. Then, Saria saw the drunk guy that Vash had been with slowly come up and put his finger against the fake Vash's head.  
  
Needless to say, the phony 'Vash' and his cronies ran faster than Saria thought men could actually run.  
  
The onlookers cheered. Vash smiled.  
  
"Wasn't even loaded!" the man said, holding up his finger.  
  
Vash pulled his hand out. "Sure wasn't!" He said, smiling widely.  
  
Saria groaned, putting her gun back in the holster. She turned around and headed back towards the hotel when she was stopped by a hand on her shoulder.  
  
She looked up to see. "Milly!? Meryl?! What are you two doing here?"  
  
Milly smiled at Saria, taking her hand off her shoulder.  
  
"We're still looking for Vash the Stampede." Meryl replied.  
  
"Wow, Saria. That was really brave of you!" Milly said loudly, a huge smile on her face.  
  
"Thanks. Have any luck finding Vash?"  
  
Meryl opened her mouth to answer, but was interrupted by Vash's voice.  
  
"Saria! There you are! Come on, they're giving us free drinks at the bar to celebrate!" He grabbed her arm, dragging her towards the bar. "Bye! See you later!" Milly called after her.  
  
Pulling her through the shutter like doors, He sat her down on a stool next to the bar, and sat down next to her, as the bartender walked over.  
  
"What would you like?"  
  
Vash smiled gleefully. "I'll have a tall glass of beer, please!"  
  
The bartender looked at her. "And how 'bout, you Miss?"  
  
Saria stared at him blankly. "Excuse me?"  
  
"What would you like? We have beer, whiskey, vodka, or, if you like, I could fix you up with a margarita."  
  
Saria blinked. She was still a minor! Although, she'd always wanted to try.  
  
"Do you have any brandy?"  
  
The bartender nodded, and got their drinks. He set a tall, foaming mug of beer in front of Vash and a cup and dark-colored bottle in front of Saria. The bartender popped the cap of the brandy bottle for her. "Enjoy." He said, before hurrying off to help another customer.  
  
Saria glanced at Vash. He grabbed the mug and took a long swig from it, sighing in satisfaction. Turning back to her own drink, she sighed mentally.  
  
'I think I'm going to hate myself in the morning.'  
  
************* That night. *************  
  
"This should be a good spot to rest for the night." Vash put his traveling bag down, and stretched.  
  
Saria sat down on a rock, and set her own bag down. Pirotess, from her perch on Saria's shoulder, made a soft squeaking noise and licked Saria's ear.  
  
"Alright, I know your hungry, Pirotess. Do you want some fruit, or a cracker?" Piro made a low hiss. Saria nodded.  
  
"Okay! Fruit it is!" Saria took a piece of dried banana and put it on the rock. Pirotess crawled down Saria's shoulder and seized the dried fruit, biting into it. Saria smiled.  
  
"Saria?"  
  
Saria turned to Vash, a small smile still on her face.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Where did you get all that stuff? You know, the GUN, the new bag, the fruit.?"  
  
"You know that money you gave me for the hotel fee?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Weeellll..The hotel room wasn't as expensive as I thought.."  
  
"Wait.hotel ROOM?"  
  
"Yeah, I told you while you were being kissed by.who was it again? Oh yeah, Frank. They only had one room left."  
  
Vash mumbled under his breath about missed opportunities.  
  
"Come again?"  
  
Vash looked at her. She had her gun out. He scratched the back of his neck and laughed nervously.  
  
"Ehehehe.Nothing."  
  
"That's what I thought." She put the gun away.  
  
"Now, what was the question?"  
  
"The money."  
  
"Oh yeah! Anyway, the hotel fee wasn't as much as I'd thought, so I kinda used it to go shopping. There's still some left."  
  
"Can I have it back?"  
  
"No."  
  
"What?!?"  
  
"Never, ever trust me with so much money with out specifying that you want the extra back. You'll never see it again."  
  
"B-but that was almost all my money!"  
  
"Toooo baaadd!"  
  
"Man..."  
  
Saria smiled evilly.  
  
"How much is left?"  
  
"Umm.Let me see..oh, about $$150."  
  
"$$150?!"  
  
"Is there an echo out here? Yes, there is $$150 left."  
  
".."  
  
"Look, I'm going to sleep. Bother me in the morning, when I'm in a bitchier mood." She pulled out one of the small blankets and wrapped herself in it, lying down.  
  
'I wish I had been thrown into a different anime, a nice one, like Rurouni Kenshin or something.'  
  
*************** Several days later.. ***************  
  
"Finally! A town!" Saria cheered.  
  
"See, I told you I'd lead us to a town!" Vash probably would've said something else, but the loud sound of gunfire interrupted them. Piro mad a loud hissing noise from inside Saria's rucksack as both Saria and Vash ran to see what was going on.  
  
Several people were standing outside a saloon, looking frustrated about something.  
  
'Wait.isn't this the episode where Vash gets kicked in face because he looked up some girl's dress? Yeah.now I remember! The girl is some old guys daughter.an old outlaw who killed a lot of people.by the name of 'Grim Reaper' Bostalk. ' Saria's thoughts were interrupted by the sight of Vash walking towards the saloon. No, it wasn't walking; it was dancing.  
  
The men standing in front of the bar yelled at him to stop, but he continued dancing oddly and went into the bar. She wearily walked over, her rucksack over one shoulder and her right hand on the gun strapped to her thigh.  
  
"I'm gonna kill that moron with a piece of string!"  
  
One of the men standing in front of the saloon turned to her. He had a shiny sheriff's badge.  
  
"You know that moronic buffoon?"  
  
"Well, I wouldn't call him a moronic buffoon, per say. More like a airheaded, stupid, green-eyed, perverted yellow-haired little bastard with no shred of decent table manners. But yes, I know him. Unfortunately."  
  
"Say, are you any good with that?"  
  
"Say what?"  
  
The sheriff pointed to her gun.  
  
"Are you a good shot?"  
  
"Yeah, I am. Just because I'm a woman don't think I don't know how to shoot a freaking gun, buster."  
  
"Good. Could I ask y-"  
  
"What's happened?" A deep male voice interrupted the sheriff.  
  
"Not to worry, Mr. Bostalk. I've got it covered. Your Stephanie will be safe soon, I promise."  
  
"And how exactly are you going to get my little girl to safety, sheriff?"  
  
"I've got an gunman on the case. Or should I say, gunwoman."  
  
Saria started. "I never said I'd help, but fine."  
  
"Are you going to save my little girl? Thank you! Thank you."  
  
"Yeah, yeah.Watch this bag for me will you? I'd rather not have to cart this thing around while I'm playing 'hero'. And I better get paid good for this." Saria handed her rucksack over to the sheriff.  
  
"And treat that bag like it's made of glass, or I'll shoot you."  
  
Saria pulled out her gun, checked to make sure it was loaded, and headed towards the bar, fully loaded gun in hand. She paused at the door and took a deep breath. 'Maybe now my ice hockey skills will come in handy.' She tackled the door, causing it to fly off it's hinges. It smashed onto the ground.  
  
"Hello, boys." She said icily, cocking her gun, slowly pointing it around the room. It was full of men with guns. A beautiful young girl was sitting on the bar counter, tied up. Vash was nowhere in sight. Saria took aim and fired, knocking the gun out of one man's hands.  
  
She fired again, and again, knocking guns out of people's hands. The men then seemed to gather their wits, and opened fire on her.  
  
She ran across the room, bullets whizzing by. She felt some graze her back. She dove behind the bar counter, right as her bikini top fell to the ground, the straps that held it on cut by bullets.  
  
Unfortunately, it fell off right in front of Vash, who was tied up, and sitting behind the counter.  
  
Saria stared at the top, wide-eyed. She didn't even notice Vash, who was right beside her, his jaw hanging to the ground and his eyes as big as dinner plates.  
  
Saria's cheek twitched. She clenched her gun, and growled, the growl so deep in her throat it sounded almost inhuman. Her side was bleeding slowly, as were several scrapes on her back. "They are SO going to die."  
  
She stood up abruptly, not even caring that she was currently topless.  
  
"YOU FREAKING BASTARDS! YOUR GONNA PAY FOR THAT!" She leveled her gun and fired rapidly, shooting guns out of every hand. She stepped out from around the counter, aura crackling and eyes full of hate.  
  
"YOUR ALL GONNNAA DIE IF YOU DON'T GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE! NOBODY, AND I MEAN NOBODY MESSES WITH ME AND LIVES!"  
  
The men stared. She quickly aimed and fired again, knocking the cigarette out of one man's mouth.  
  
"NEXT TIME IT'S YOUR HEAD!"  
  
Some of them reached for their fallen guns. Fired at the chandelier, causing it to fall on the men. The girl on the counter screamed as the chandelier crashed on top of the men. The men who escaped being trapped by the chandelier ran out of the door screaming.  
  
Saria calmed down, and stomped back behind the counter to retrieve her fallen bikini top, and froze. Vash was staring at her, or more specifically, her chest. Her face turned red as she started to cover her chest, but paused.  
  
"Oh wait, I forgot. You're really gay. Nevermind, then." She stooped to pick up her top, and tied it back on, resolving to sew the cut straps later.  
  
"I'm not gay!"  
  
"Suure you aren't. Now get up, gay boy."  
  
**************** A few minutes later.. ****************  
  
"Huh, not bad. $$3000 dollars isn't to shabby, eh gay boy?" Saria looked up at Vash. She had taken a moment to change into her black silk top, but hadn't changed out of her shorts.  
  
"I'm not gay!"  
  
"Yeah, suuurrre you aren't, dork. I believe you."  
  
"I'm not!"  
  
"Yeah right, gay boy."  
  
"I'll prove it!"  
  
"How the hell are you go-"  
  
Saria was silenced as Vash grabbed her by the shoulders to keep her still, and kissed her.  
  
On the lips.  
  
***********************  
  
That was fun! ::giggles madly:: Saria didn't react as much as you thought she would, did she? Ohh, I love me. What will happen in the next chapter? Oh, the suspense! BTW, I don't own RK, just so you know. And thankies to all that have reviewed so far! ::does a happy bandit dance::  
  
I suppose I could give you a preview of what happens in the next chapter..  
  
Saria gets shot Pirotess becomes the 'Flesh-Eating Attack Ferret From Hell' Vash learns a secret about Saria I hope you all enjoyed the story so far! Please R&R! 


	5. Firm to The Earth

Wow! :: sparkly eyed:: You people really like my stories! ::does a happy bandit dance:: This is great! I'm all inspired-like. Well, sorta. I'm sorry I didn't post this chapter sooner. Writers block. Not to mention I've been traveling everywhere. Anyway, enjoy this story! Please R&R!  
  
Disclaimer: I do NOT own Trigun, no matter how much I wish I did.  
  
Whatever happens, happens.  
  
Whatever in happening, happens, causes something else to happen.  
  
Whatever in happening causes something else to happen, causes something else to happen.  
  
It doesn't necessarily do it in chronological order, though.  
  
Oh yes, R.K, when I used the term 'RK', I meant Rurouni Kenshin. And also, for some absurd reason, My e-Mail service wouldn't let me send attached e- Mails. I'll keep trying, though!  
  
************************ The $$60,000,000,000 Rose ************************ Chapter 5: Firm to the Earth  
  
Saria froze, and her eyes grew to the size of dinner plates. After a few moments, Vash finally let go of her, a huge smile on his face.  
  
"See? I told you I wasn't gay!"  
  
Saria looked up at him with her wide eyes, her mind and voice not working.  
  
"I.I.I."  
  
She found her voice.  
  
"D-d-did you just KISS me?" Saria said, still a little shocked.  
  
Vash nodded, the huge smile still, it seemed, plastered on his face. He looked proud of himself.  
  
Saria smiled warmly. She motioned with her finger for him to come closer. He looked shocked for a moment, then leaned down. Saria ran her hand lightly down his cheek. His eyes widened.  
  
"Vash.." Saria said softly. He sighed, obviously thinking perverted little thoughts. "YOU ARE SUCH A PERVERTED LITTLE BASTARD!!!" She slapped his face, hard. The force of her slap sent him sprawling. She stomped off, not even looking at him.  
  
Saria had walked about five feet when his voice called out.  
  
"Hey, where are you going?"  
  
She turned around, the fury of hell in her eyes. Her voice was cold enough to freeze the hottest flames.  
  
"I am leaving. And if you follow me, I swear to god I'll kill you. You hear me?" Saria turned and walked off before waiting for an answer. Not that it would've mattered. Vash was staring at her retreating back, frozen with shock.  
  
***  
  
'Was.was she.crying?' Vash stared at the ground where she had just been standing. Several small dark spots were there, as if someone had sprinkled water on the ground.  
  
'Why.would she be crying? All I did was kiss her.' He was completely and utterly confused. Sighing, he got up, dusting himself off. He picked up his bag, and headed off in a different direction.  
  
***************** Several days later. *****************  
  
Saria nearly cheered out loud when she spotted the town. It had been several days since she had left Vash's company. She really didn't like to think about him that much.  
  
'That jerk...' She thought darkly as she headed into the town. Pirotess made a raspy hissing sound from Saria's shoulder. Saria absentmindedly stroked the snowy-white ferret's soft fur. 'I can't believe I thought of him as my favorite character! I hope he dies or something.I had to be kissed by a figment of someone's imagination.'  
  
As she trudged through the town, she spotted a nice looking restaurant. Her stomach growled. Dry crackers and fruit, combined with stale water wasn't the most filling thing in the world. Besides, she could afford it. She still had the $$3,000 plus the $$150 she had refused to give back to Vash.  
  
"You hungry for a feast, Piro?" Piro squeaked loudly, rubbing her head against Saria's cheek, soft red eyes gleaming. Saria smiled broadly, and hurried towards the restaurant.  
  
She pushed open the shutter-like doors, and froze. Their backs facing her, several men were watching the still form of a certain blond-haired, red coat-wearing jerk. A red liquid pooled around Vash. Apparently, he had been eating when they caught him off guard, because he still had a fork in his hand. A plate of food was on the table were he was probably sitting.  
  
The men began cheering. Just then, Vash apparently decided to get up. As he stood up, he picked up the ketchup bottle that had broken, the red condiment staining the floor and his coat. He laughed, scratching the back of his neck. The men tensed.  
  
"How.How can you still be alive.?"  
  
Vash looked confused. The men ran screaming, running past Saria, who was staring at Vash with a blank expression. His eyes widened slightly. Then broke into a big smile.  
  
"Hey Saria! Fancy meeting you here!" She glared at him with a look that could kill, if looks could kill. Without saying a word, she turned around and walked out the door. Vash would've followed her, but was stopped by an entire mob who walked in as Saria walked out. They all pointed guns, straight at his head.  
  
***  
  
"Just my luck, Piro. I finally find a town, and that IDIOT has to be here. And I'm STILL HUNGRY!" Saria kicked at the dirt. She turned a corner, looking around. Several buildings were in complete ruin. Up ahead, Saria saw the town square. She hurried towards it. When she got there, she saw what appeared to be the local sheriff and numerous other people, including children.  
  
"We almost got him, mayor! That $$60,000,000,000 reward is ours!" The sheriff said to black haired man wearing a fancy vest. Saria walked over.  
  
"Your trying to catch that blond-haired, green-eyed, perverted bastard?" The two men looked at her.  
  
"You know Vash the Stampede?" The sheriff asked.  
  
Saria sighed wearily. "Yes, unfortunately I do. I can't believe he kissed me like that!" Her hands clenched, the knuckles turning white.  
  
"He kissed you? Then you must be his girlfriend."  
  
Saria jerked her head up to look at the mayor. Before she had a chance to scream that she was not his girlfriend and it would be a cold day in hell when she was, the sheriff pointed at her.  
  
"GET HER! WE CAN USE HER TO CATCH VASH!" Saria made a squeaking noise as fifty odd people slowly walked towards her. She turned and started to run. Pirotess squeaked shrilly and buried her head in Saria's neck as bullets began whizzing by. Just Saria was right about to turn a corner, a stinging pain shot through her left leg, and through her side.  
  
Saria tripped, and fell. She looked towards her left leg and nearly fainted. Blood was everywhere, coming from a deep scrape on her thigh and a gaping hole in her side.. She tried to get up again, but several arms grabbed her roughly, pulling her up.  
  
***  
  
Vash quickly turned a corner, dodging the bullets fired at him. Only to come face-to-face with even more guns. They aimed, and would've fired, if not for the loud message suddenly blaring on a loudspeaker.  
  
"ATTENTION! Vash the Stampede, we have your girlfriend here at the town square! If you don't want her to.what the hell are you doing?!" The loud hissing followed by a scream of pain blared on the loudspeaker, followed by a very pissed off feminine voice.  
  
"I'M NOT THAT GUY'S GIRLFRIEND, YOU PIG-FACED, SNOT-NOSED IDIOTS! YOU PEOPLE ARE SOOO DE-Hey, what the hell are you.." That was followed by a feminine shriek.  
  
Of pain.  
  
******************** Several moments later. ********************  
  
A rather ugly old man was yapping away at Saria, who was in the clutches of what appeared to be a four-stories-high-giant with his own sun-visor grown onto his forehead.  
  
Earlier, when the sheriff and mayor had been telling Vash that she was at the town square place, Pirotess had launched herself at one of the men holding Saria, and attacked him, sharp teeth buried on his lip and razor- like claws making tiny-but-really-painful scratches all over his face and neck.  
  
When he had managed to pull the hissing white ferret off, a bit of flesh was dangling from Pirotess's mouth. The ferret had scurried away as they fired bullets at her. But of course, that was after the men had slapped Saria away from the loudspeaker, causing her to fall on her injured leg.  
  
The colossal hand holding shook her, jerking her back to reality.  
  
"Are you listening to me?!" The yappie old man looked, if it were even possible, even uglier.  
  
"No.I'm trying to ignore you. I was succeeding admirably.." Suddenly, the other hand of the giant holding her shot out, and destroyed probably half a dozen buildings. The old man yapped in excitement.  
  
"We got him! We killed Vash the Stampede!"  
  
Saria rolled her eyes as the giant's hand came back. The yappie old man stared in shock at it.  
  
Written on it was the message:  
  
'Just beat me! Do it!' along with a cute picture of chibi Vash.  
  
Saria sweatdropped. 'What a show-off..'  
  
As Saria watched, Vash picked his way out of the rubble, Saria decided it was a good time to start yelling at everybody's favorite blond-haired, green eyed, red coat-wearing outlaw.  
  
"VAAASH!! THIS IS ALLLL YOUR F*CKING FAULT! WHEN I GET DOWN FROM HERE, I'M GONNA KILL YOU, THEN SAY NASTY THINGS ABOUT YOU AT YOUR FUNERAL AND DANCE UPON YOUR GRAVE! YOU HEAR ME, YOU BLOND HAIRED FREAK? I'M GONNA KILL YOU!!"  
  
"Oh shut up already, you stupid bitch! If anyone is going to kill the legendary outlaw Vash the Stampede, it's us! Right son?" The yappie old geezer patted the giant's arm. Then, the yappie old fart turned to Vash.  
  
"Well, Vash the Stampede, It's time to meet your doom! Prepare to die!"  
  
Vash stayed silent, and slowly put his hand over his gun.  
  
"So, you want to draw, huh? It's pointless! No matter what pistol you use, its like trying to stop a train with a car! Impossible!"  
  
Unfortunately for Saria, blood loss from her wound was starting to cloud her mind. Her vision and hearing started going dark, and the fact that she had just wasted a bunch of energy screaming her lungs out at Vash didn't help the matter. The yappie man continued talking, but Saria didn't seem to hear any of it.  
  
Suddenly, she felt herself being flung into the air. But by then, she was already unconscious.  
  
***  
  
Saria groaned. Her leg and side were throbbing, and it felt like everything was spinning. She waited a few moments, for the room to stop spinning, and opened her eyes. The room she was in was a bit plain, and incredibly clean.  
  
The sheets on the bed she was lying on were crisp. There was a single window next to the bed, and a small nightstand-table on the other side. A single chair sat in the middle of the room, next to a small table that had several empty boxes of doughnuts, and a familiar white ferret snoozing, hanging out one of the boxes.  
  
And, seated in that chair, was a certain red-coated man, watching her with those pale green eyes.  
  
They stared at each other for a few moments, then Vash broke into a huge smile.  
  
"Hey, your awake! I'm so glad your okay!"  
  
"What the hell are you doing here, you jerk?"  
  
"Hey, is that any way to thank the one who saved you from being killed?"  
  
"Fine. Thank you for saving my life. But I'm still mad at you."  
  
"About the kiss?"  
  
"YES, ABOUT THE F*CKING KISS!"  
  
"Hey, all I did was kiss you.."  
  
"YOU STOLE MY FIRST KISS, YOU JERK!"  
  
Vash froze.  
  
It clicked to her what she just blurted out.  
  
Her face turned a bright cherry red as she quickly buried her head under her pillow.  
  
*******  
  
So, how did you people like it? I rewrote it about five times. This chapter was kinda hard. And please excuse the alert I posted. I'm really sorry. It just irks me how people purposely review stories they know they are going to hate, or just flame it with out actually reading the first chapter, much less the entire story. A lot of really good SI fics I read start out looking as if their gonna suck, or turn out to be a Mary-Sue. But you know what? The author usually has a purpose to what he/she are doing. A lot of SI fics I've read in the past were done by newbies. In fact, this is the first story I've posted in over a year. So what I'm saying is, just give the newbies some time. We were all newbies at one point. Usually I don't get so mad over a flame. But that's when a person has actually read all the chapters I've posted and they still don't like the story.  
  
Anyway, I'd like to thank a few reviewers.  
  
WingedElfLover- Thank you soooo much! I'm dedicating 'Singing Nightingale, Blood Red' to you. Also, I'd like to put you in that story! If you could, I'd like to e-Mail you. Tell me if you'd like to be a character in 'Singing Nightingale, Blood Red'.  
  
Odie- You are so wonderful. At least you aren't flaming me about my errors...  
  
Renee Fay- I know you didn't ask for this, but I got the name Pirotess from the dark elf in 'Record of Lodoss Wars'.  
  
Until the next Chapter!  
  
Ja ne~  
  
Lady Kitsuna the Fox 


	6. The Plant, and the Beautiful WomanPart 1

Heya! ::waves madly:: How was that last chapter, eh? Weren't any of you wondering why she got so upset? No? Huh. Somehow, I had a feeling no one would wonder about that..Can you imagine, Saria's first kiss was stolen by Vash? A guy, to her, who was just a cartoon? Poor Saria.. But hey, I'm sure you people just want to read the story now. R&R! Thanks!  
  
BTW, I'm sorry I haven't posted. For one, I've had a HUGE writers block, and second, the stupid internet wouldn't let me log on to fanfiction.net, so this chapter wil be a bit short..  
  
Disclaimer: I solemnly swear I don't own Trigun.  
  
There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.  
  
There is another theory which states that this has already happened.  
  
************************ The $$60,000,000,000 Rose ************************ Chapter 6: The Plant, and the Beautiful Woman-Part 1  
  
"Saria? Hey, come on now." Vash yanked the pillow away. Saria tried in vain to grab it back.  
  
"Is that all your upset about?"  
  
Saria gave him a frosty glare, her face now back to normal except for a slight tinge of pink on her cheeks.  
  
"How DARE you ask that! Wait, I forgot. You're a GUY! And not JUST a guy, you're a perverted, alcoholic, IDIOTIC OLD MAN!! God, you remind me of those creepy old guys you see hanging around stripper bars at 2'o clock in the morning."  
  
"Hey, now wait just a min-"  
  
"AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE?? I GENRALLY DISLIKE TALL PEOPLE, YOU BEANPOLE!"  
  
"But-"  
  
"You know what? You'd.hey! Mmmph.." Vash had covered her mouth with his hand.  
  
"Can I get a word in here? Hey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you upset or anything. Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?"  
  
Saria stared at him as he took his hand away. She thought for a moment. An evil smile graced her features.  
  
***  
  
Saria put the finishing touches on Vash's hair. He had asked if their was anything he could do to make it up to her, and she had always wanted to do this.  
  
*Flashback*  
  
"Wellllllll... Oh! I know!" Saria had a gleeful expression on her face.  
  
Vash was starting to get scared.  
  
"W-what?"  
  
"You must let me play with your hair."  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"Turn around and sit down, blondie."  
  
"..."  
  
*End Flashback*  
  
"Are you done yet?"  
  
Saria smiled gleefully. He looked like a complete idiot with his new 'hairdo'.  
  
"Yeah, I'm done. You look younger already."  
  
".." Vash grabbed the mirror that rested on the nightstand. He took one look in the mirror and screamed.  
  
His hair was parted into small pigtails, tied with large pink bows  
  
*****************  
  
Hey, Sorry this is so short. Gomen nasai. I won't be able to post next week, because I'm going to a place called Navoo. Anyway, I need some ideas for new Gun-Ho Guns. About, oh, four? What I need from you readers are ideas. Either E-mail me or post in your review.  
  
Here's what I need:  
  
Character Name:  
  
Gender:  
  
Hair Color:  
  
Hair Style:  
  
Eye Color:  
  
Height:  
  
Weight:  
  
Weapon of Choice:  
  
Special Ability:  
  
Clothes:  
  
Shoes:  
  
Personality:  
  
(optional) Background:  
  
Special Features: Scars, Tattoos, Earrings, Belly rings, etc.  
  
Thank you so much! Please R&R! Until next time! 


	7. Sky Dragon, Earth Fox

Heya! Did you miss me? What? You didn't? That isn't very friendly.. Thank you to everybody who submitted their ideas of New Gung-Ho Guns! It was really hard for me to decide on them. In Fact, at one point, I was seriously considering using them all! Also, one of my other new characters will be introduced in this chapter: Psyche Ferriae. I hope you people like this chapter. I look forward to your reviews! Please R&R!  
  
Oh, to a certain reviewer, Ms..MoodKiller. Well, excuse me for breathing. I write what I want, and I happen to want to write one of these. There is an equal amount of non-SI fics and such. And to tell the truth, I messed up on the SI part. This isn't a Self Insertion fic. I had been off FFnet for so long I had forgotten what to call them. This is an OC fic. Original Character. Saria is barely like me at all. Well, except for the sarcastic and insulting part.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Trigun. I don't own Cartoon Network, Toonami, or Dragon Ball. I also don't own the 'New' Gung-Ho Guns. I don't own the earth either, but I do own a toothpick.  
  
************************ The $$60,000,000,000 Rose ************************ Chapter 7: Sky Dragon, Earth Fox  
  
Saria sighed angrily as she drank her coffee. Vash had disappeared after the Sand Steamer had arrived. The memory of earlier that day ran through her mind's eye.  
  
*FLASHBACK*  
  
Vash stared in horror at his reflected image. He was speechless. He had pink bows in his hair!  
  
Saria started to laugh.  
  
Vash turned to her with a sappy hurt look, and opened his mouth to say something, but right then a young child entered into the room. The little girl stared at Vash for a few moments, then spoke.  
  
"Uh, Mister Vash sir? The mayor wanted you to know that the Sand Steamer just arrived.okay?" Vash looked at the little girl and nodded. He pulled the bows out of his hair, fixed it back to it's usual spiky-ness, and got up.  
  
"See you later, ok Saria?"  
  
*END FLASHBACK*  
  
As Saria took another sip of her coffee, slamming the cup down onto the beer-stained table, Pirotess, who was perched on Saria's shoulder, chattered nervously. 'And in this episode he follows that engineer lady that tries to kill him! Jeez, you think he'd be able to sense something about that..' She motioned to the barkeep. The fat, balding man hurried over.  
  
"Yes, Miss? Something you need?"  
  
"Yeah. A nice, large bottle of brandy. No, make that two bottles of brandy and a large roast beef sandwich, no mustard or cheese. I feel a need to take my mind of a certain guy."  
  
The bar tender looked at her with a slightly startled expression, then nodded.  
  
"Right away, miss."  
  
As Saria tapped her fingers on the table impatiently, Pirotess suddenly squeaked, looking past Saria's shoulders. Saria turned around to see what had captured her beloved little ferret's attention.  
  
A young girl who looked about 16 stood there, her waist-length reddish- brown hair hanging loosely. The girl's cobalt blue tanktop gently clung to her body, but not skin tight, and her light tan cargo's rode on her hip, the additional front two pockets on the thighs, with Velcro closure. A baggy black military jacket hung on her slight frame, making her looker even smaller then she already did. A small black round weave leather choker sat around the bottom of her neck, just above her collarbones while two bracelets hung around her wrists; a simple clear-colored glass bead one on her right, and a chain one on her left. A light scar across her right cheek graced her features.  
  
"Errr.May I help you.?"  
  
"Naw. I just happened to overhear you mention you had guy troubles, and was wondering if I could help." The girl grabbed a chair at Saria's table, and swung herself into it, her timberlake-looking hiking boots making 'clop- clop' noises as she walked to the chair.  
  
"Gee, thanks Miss.?"  
  
"Hey, call me Astra. Astra the Desert Fox. What's yours?"  
  
"Do you want my full name?"  
  
"Sure, why not?"  
  
"Okeedokee. It's SariaVanavierra De Fanellia-Augustin Rose. Call me Saria. And this little furball," Saria said, stroking Pirotess, "is Pirotess."  
  
"Saria. I don't believe I've heard that name before. It's pretty. For that matter, I've never heard the name Pirotess, either. Anyway, tell me about your guy trouble."  
  
"Why do you want to know?"  
  
"Well, I happen to know several guys who are complete buttheads," Astra said dryly. "and I know it helps to bleed out the poison, know what I mean?"  
  
Saria nodded. "Yeah.."  
  
"So, spill."  
  
"O-okay.Weell, you see." Saria told Astra all about what had happened, from the point Vash had kissed her, to when he had walked out of the hospital room on her, unintentionally avoiding telling Astra his name.  
  
There was a short silence after Saria had finished.  
  
"Well," Astra said, blinking. "He sounds like a jerk, doesn't he? What's this guy's name, anyway?"  
  
"Wha? His name? Vash."  
  
Astra seemed to freeze for a moment.  
  
"Vash? As in Vash the Stampede?" She said carefully.  
  
"Yeah, why?"  
  
"Vash the Stampede kissed you."  
  
"He tried to peek on me in the bath, too. He's like, over a hundred years old, supposed to be this supposedly dangerous outlaw, but there he is, a perverted, blond-haired, green-eyed moron who screams like a girl and is practically in love with doughnuts. I'm starting to think his brother, poor, misinformed psycho-killer he is, is way cooler than Vash."  
  
At this Astra froze, her eyes wide and shocked, her face a little pale. She seemed to struggle with her words.  
  
"You say.Vash has a brother? What's his name?" Astra asked carefully.  
  
"Vash's brother's name? Knives. Actually, I think It's Millions Knives, but that sounds kinda stupid, doesn't it?"  
  
"Knives. Millions Knives. That's Vash's brother's name." Astra said with disbelief, her eyes wide.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"How do you know this?"  
  
"Errr..Well, Vash didn't tell me, that's for sure. He is *such* a stick in the mud."  
  
"Do you know anything else? You know, anything?"  
  
"Weeellllll...I don't know If I should tell you.."  
  
"Hey, I don't tell other peoples secrets. You can trust me."  
  
"Well, okay. I know for a fact.that both Knives and Vash aren't truly human. How else could they live for, like over a hundred years? They are both really Plants."  
  
"Plants."  
  
"Yep. They are most assuredly Plants."  
  
"How did you-" Astra was interrupted by a feminine voice coming from outside.  
  
"ASTRA! COME ON!WE GOTTA GET BACK TO WORK!"  
  
Astra rose from her seat, nodding to Saria.  
  
"Well, I gotta go. Sorry. I'M COMING ANGEL!" She yelled the last part out to whoever was waiting outside for her. She waved to Saria and left.  
  
As Saria watched her leave, the bartender came over with the things she had previously ordered, before Astra had come over to talk to her.  
  
As she stared at the two brandy bottles and sandwich, she sighed mentally. Pirotess, who, during Saria's conversation, had slipped into Saria's rucksack, poked her head out slightly and gave a squeaky sort of hiss.  
  
"Bartender, can I get this to go?"  
  
*** A few moments later.. ***  
  
As Saria left the bar, she heard a loud commotion nearby. She hurried over to see what was going on. As she was about to turn a corner, A green- haired girl ran around the corner, ramming into Saria, causing them both to fall backwards, the green-haired girl landing on top of her. As Saria groaned and sat up slightly to look at the person who had rammed into her, her own dark, emerald eyes met with big, teary golden ones. The girl sniffled as tears ran down her face. She threw her arms around Saria's neck and began sobbing loudly.  
  
"Please help me! Mean mean men people try and hurt me! Don't let them get me miss miss! Don't let them get me, please please!"  
  
*** Somewhere far away in underground base-thing... ***  
  
Astra struggled up the last step, panting hard. Together with Angel 'The Daredevil' and Zazi the Beast, they had hurried as fast as they could back to the main base.  
  
"Astra, whatever is the hurry?" The voice was male, and sent chills up Astra's spine.  
  
"Knives, sir, I think we have a bit of a problem...." ****  
  
Man, am I good or what? I rather like that chapter. Didn't turn out the way I had planned it, but hey, it will all work out....somehow. And I'm reeeeaaaaaalllllyyyy sorry about the delay in updating. I've had loads of homework (For some reason, the people I live with believe I should go to something they call 'school'. It makes no sense; I'm over 2,000 years old.) plus I haven't had much inspiration, either. I'd like to thank and congratulate Chibi Lunnie & the AnimeCrew for their characters making it into my evil, twisted, warped little (It'll probably end up over 30 chapters) story. The rest of you will just have to wait and see if your character (if you submitted one) made it. It was sooooo hard, because alot of them were really good. And don't worry, AnimeCrew, Angel will have an official appearance later. Anyways, I hope you people like the story! Please R&R! 


	8. Sky Dragon, Earth Fox Part 2

Heya! Well, I've got some good news!...Oh crap, I forgot it..Oh well. I'm sure your all *dying* to know who's Gung-Ho Guns got chosen..well, you'll just have to wait. On another note, there is another new character I'd to tell you all about. He is NOT a Gung-Ho Gun. His name is Ryuuen, and if you're lucky, he'll appear in this chapter. And if you diss him, I will summon a horde of flesh-eating rabid goldfish of unusual colors to fly out from underneath your couch and devour your hair. And then they will administer a thousand turban wedgies. . . . Okay, that was random. Sorry. Well, not really. That apology was totally insincere. Like I care. Like you care. Nobody cares. Oh well. Screw caring. Who needs it? Not that I care, or anything.*laughs manically and begins dancing oddly* LONG LIVE THE PENGUINS!  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Trigun, only a splinter, remnants of my poor, dearly departed toothpick. May it rest in pieces.  
  
************************ The $$60,000,000,000 Rose ************************ Chapter 8: Sky Dragon, Earth Fox-Part 2  
  
Saria sweatdropped as the green-haired, golden-eyed girl dug her face into Saria's chest. Pirotess squeaked in alarm, causing Saria to look up. Several drunken, hideous (and angry looking) men with the worst five 'o clock shadows you ever did see now stood in front of her, the oh-so- familiar perverted look in their eyes, you know, the one that basically said 'I'm gonna rape you'.  
  
One of the men grinned, the kind of idiotic grin only horny drunk guys can get.  
  
"Heyzzz..Lookshh.Anotha babesss..."  
  
The green-haired girl shrieked and buried her head harder into Saria's chest, causing Saria to grunt out in discomfort, because you know, it kinda hurts for a girl's chest to get squashed that hard.  
  
The men moved slowly forward, laughing drunkenly and muttering to each other. Saria, of course, could not get up, due to the busty green-haired girl clinging to her.  
  
One of the particularly ugly men began reaching for them, when a girlish- yet-male voice rang out.  
  
"Oh dear, how I hate ugly, drunk men..Oh well.."  
  
Some of the drunk guys turned around, just in time to see the big metal trash can come hurdling towards their heads.  
  
*BAM*  
  
The drunk guys went flying, their foreheads bleeding. Saria stared at the unconscious drunk guys lying all around, then looked up as she heard footsteps. She gaped.  
  
There in front of her stood a rather tall man, not as tall as Vash, probably about 5'10", with long, straight white hair that reached the back of his knees. She couldn't see his eyes, because he had a blindfold on, but both his ears were pierced with small, black hoop earrings. His entire outfit was a little dark, with the black leather boots, black leather pants, purple silk button-down shirt, and black choker. For some reason, Saria got the immediate impression he was gay..  
  
"Dear me, are you young ladies alright? I do hope you aren't harmed. I absolutely detest ugly drunken men, don't you?"  
  
"Errr..yeah..."  
  
At that moment, the green haired girl decided to let Saria breathe, by getting off her. She blinked her eyes, then broke into a smile.  
  
"YAY! Mean mean men gone!!! Psyche says thank you!" She aimed the thanks part to the gay guy.  
  
The gay guy smiled.  
  
"You're very welcome. Please, call me Ryuuen."  
  
"I'm Psyche! Psyche Ferriae!"  
  
"Ryuuen Von Haderlitz."  
  
"Errr..I'm called Saria. Saria Vanavierra De Fanellia-Augustin Rose."  
  
"Wow! That's a pretty name, fox-lady!"  
  
"Fox-lady?"  
  
"Yeah! You're a fox-lady! I'm a lizard!"  
  
"A lizard, my dear?" That was Ryuuen.  
  
"Yeah!"  
  
"Okayyyy...Hey, Ryuuen, wasn't it? You wouldn't have happened to see a tall, green-eyed, blond-haired guy wearing a red coat around, have you?"  
  
Ryuuen turned his face towards her.  
  
"I don't believe so, no."  
  
Saria hit a nearby wall with her fist.  
  
"Damn him. First, he kisses me, then he runs off with that bitchy engineer- lady. If I get my hands on him, he is SoOo dead."  
  
"Having trouble with you're boyfriend, perhaps? Or maybe your husband?"  
  
"HE'S NOT MY BOYFRIEND, DAMMIT!"  
  
"Oh, sorry. Anything I can do?"  
  
Psyche was watching Saria with fascination, as a idea popped into Saria's head. Saria smiled evilly.  
  
"Why yes, there is something..."  
  
***  
  
Myaaa, sorry again for the delay. I've been kinda busy. I have a new story up in the Fruits Basket section, called 'Mishaps With Teeth (M.W.T)'. If you have time, go and read it. It's really funny. Anyway, please R&R, okay? Later! 


	9. Sky Dragon, Earth Fox Part 3

Ahhh...For some reason, I have a sadistic urge to wander around aimlessly, thereby annoying the hell out of the puny mortals I live with. And then play with my dog, Sasha. But I'm not going to, since I'm writing this. And I really do need more reviews. I just don't feel motivated, otherwise. And Odie-san, thank you so much! *hugs Odie in a crushing grip* I never thought I'd have a fan! I'm so happy! Thank you to everyone who has reviewed so far! Well, except the people who have flamed. Damn them all to *hell*..okay, maybe not hell, since *I'm* probably going there.. . . . . . . . Disclaimer: I DO NOT own Trigun, Astra, Angel, or Ryuuen. Also, I don't own Velcro, Plexi-Glass, the word 'toothpick', the amazing Bendi-Straws, or Hell. I really wished I owned Hell, but sadly enough, I don't. I did, however, trade in my splinter, remnants of my dearly departed toothpick, for a..*dramatic drum roll* ..A PIECE OF PAPER! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAH! *drunk on own hot air*  
  
************************ The $$60,000,000,000 Rose ************************ Chapter 8: Sky Dragon, Earth Fox-Part 3  
  
Ryuuen walked into the hotel, up to the front desk, and elegantly flipped his hair. Even though he couldn't see him, Ryuuen smiled as the man behind the counter gaped. Ryuuen had put on his most feminine clothes. Saria had said he looked just like a very pretty woman, alibi a woman with a blindfold. But that had been quickly fixed, by combing his bangs over his eyes just so. They had planned, and had come up with an excellent way of getting Saria's revenge on Vash. And just as Saria had said, Vash was staying in this hotel. And he just happened to be in the lobby as Ryuuen walked in.  
  
"Excuse me, sir." Ryuuen said. His voice was kinda feminine.  
  
"Y-Yes, m-m-miss?" Ryuuen smiled inwardly. The plan was working so far.  
  
"May I please get two adjoining rooms? My companions will be here shortly. And please make it a nice room, please."  
  
The man behind the counter nodded, a slight blush on his face. He handed a set of keys to Ryuuen, completely forgetting to charge Ryuuen the money for the room.  
  
***  
  
Across the room, Vash had been reclining on a slightly worn couch, until Ryuuen had walked in. However, Vash had no idea Ryuuen was a guy. Actually, Ryuuen can change his gender at will, but you don't know that, so I'll shut up now.  
  
Vash gaped as Ryuuen walked over.  
  
Ryuuen stopped near Vash.  
  
"Excuse me, sir, but is this seat taken?"  
  
Vash gaped at Ryuuen. (A/N: Vash doesn't know Ryuuen's name yet. Just so you know.)  
  
He shook his head.  
  
"Of course not. Please, have a seat, madam."  
  
Ryuuen smiled. Vash, of course, mistook Ryuuen's smile for something that had nothing to do with why Ryuuen smiled.  
  
Ryuuen sat down, and predictably, Vash began hitting on him. A few minutes later, as Vash was still hitting on Ryuuen, Saria walked in, in her skimpiest outfit, Psyche close behind.  
  
***  
  
Saria scanned the hotel lobby, and spotted Vash and Ryuuen. She snickered.  
  
"Miss Miss Saria? Is that Mr. Vash Vash?" Saria smiled at Psyche.  
  
"Yeah, that's the guy. Let's go, Psyche."  
  
Saria and Psyche walked on over to the guys.  
  
"Hellooooo Vash. I see you've met my new boyfriend. I hope Vash wasn't bothering you, Ryuuen."  
  
As Vash looked up at her, startled, Ryuuen got up, smiling.  
  
"Boyfriend?"  
  
"Saria, dear, is *this* the Vash person you told me about?"  
  
"BOYfriend?"  
  
"Yeah, that's Vash."  
  
"Mr. Vash Vash sure has weird glasses!"  
  
Saria, Vash and Ryuuen turned towards Psyche. In her hands lay Vash's yellow sunglasses, the pair he usually put on when he is really pissed. She had somehow stolen them from inside his coat pocket, without anybody noticing.  
  
"Hey now, those are mine! Please give them back." Vash reached for them. Psyche nimbly dodged his attempt to get them back, and put them on. She then proceeded to dance around Vash in circles, chanting.  
  
"I'M A DORK I'M A DORK I'M A DORK!!!"  
  
Vash facevaulted, while Saria broke into peals of insane laughter. Ryuuen smiled, chuckling loudly behind his hand.  
  
Psyche stopped in mid skip, and carefully set Vash's glasses on his head.  
  
"I'm done!" She announced proudly.  
  
But before anyone could say anything, the engineer lady walked into the hotel.  
  
"Come along, Spot. I have work to do at the plant."  
  
"Coming!" Vash said this happily, seemingly forgetting Saria and the others as he got up, lightly dusted himself off as he put his glasses back in his pocket, and followed the engineer lady out of the hotel.  
  
Leaving Ryuuen, Saria, and Psyche staring at his retreating back.  
  
***  
  
Well, sorry for the delay. AGAIN. The next chapter will be real good, believe me. You'll find out why Psyche called Saria 'fox-lady'. I sure hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please, PLEASE R&R. 


	10. Sky Dragon, Earth Fox Part4

Myaaaaa! Gomen nasai! Gomen nasai! I'm sorry I haven't updated recently! It's all the d*mn school systems fault! The school gives waaaaay too many tests! What do they think I am, a computer? Plus, I had the writers block FROM HELL, and mix that with the fact I haven't been able to get on the computer often, and when I did, I couldn't stay on very long. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter... . . . . . . ( ( . . . . Disclaimer: I nto'D won giurnT ro nya terho nAmnie.  
  
(Translation: I Don't own Trigun or any other Anime)  
  
P.S. Please don't kill me, 'Llyssa.  
  
************************ The $$60,000,000,000 Rose ************************ Chapter 8: Sky Dragon, Earth Fox-Part 4  
  
As Vash stepped out into the dusty, dry air after the engineer lady, he shook away the unusually strong feeling of jealousy welling up inside him. Aside from the fact that the 'chick' he had been hitting on was really a guy, this guy was Saria's boyfriend?!? He had hidden it well, but Vash had had to restrain himself from strangling that 'Ryuuen' guy.  
  
This unusual reaction had made Vash uneasy, and he had jumped at the opportunity to escape from that particular situation.  
  
*** In The Hotel Room  
  
***  
  
"It isn't ALL bad, Saria. He could have congratulated you, or something along those lines, anyway."  
  
"Yeah, Sari-Saria! Ryuu-Ryuu is right! and you still have us!"  
  
Pirotess hissed agreement.  
  
Saria smiled. "Thanks you guys....You know, maybe we should go and check out that plant-thingy that engineering bitch is working on, ya? Me being here mighta done something..If not for exacting revenge, then for seeing a Plant Angel-in a bulb- up close."  
  
"Plant Angel, my dear? Whatever is that?" Ryuuen's slight smile turned into a frown.  
  
"Tell you 'bout it on the way."  
  
"Then let's go, Miss Miss Saria!"  
  
***  
  
As Saria, Ryuuen, and Psyche headed towards the Plant, Saria explained to the best of her ability what a Plant Angel was.  
  
"..and aside from that, I don't know much else." Saria finished, sighing.  
  
"How absolutely fascinating....I never would have guessed that about the Plants, much less Vash the Stampede...."  
  
The three of them had almost reached the Plant, when the Plant itself had begun glowing, and people began to run, screaming, away from it.  
  
"IT'S GONNA BLOW!"  
  
"RUUUUUUUN FOOOR YOOURR LIVESSSS!"  
  
"WEEE'RREEE ALLL GOONNA DIIIIIIIEEE!"  
  
Ryuuen grabbed Psyche's hand and started to yell to Saria to run, but her gaze was fixed completely on the Plant.  
  
As Ryuuen watched in horror, Saria suddenly clutched her head as if in pain, and let out a piercing scream, so loud and shrill it couldn't possibly be human.  
  
***  
  
The painful sensation of being stretched, crushed, and burned alive from the inside roared through Saria's entire body. She glared at the still- glowing Plant, silently cursing it within her head. She barely heard Psyche and Ryuuen calling her name, as the pain intensified, causing a red haze to form at the edges of her vision. Beneath her, she felt the earth began to throb, like it had a heartbeat, the steady beat moving in perfect time with her own heart. The red haze started to take over her vision quickly, as molten fire seemed to twist and move all throughout her body. Finally, her vision went black, and she began to fall, and as she lapsed into unconsciousness, she smelled the faintest scent of grass, and cherry blossoms.  
  
***  
  
As Vash walked out of the Plant, sighing in relief, he noticed light, almost white, pink petals floating by, covering the entire area with a sweet, delicate aroma. He caught one in his hand, and immediately felt a sense of gentle comfort, and warmth....  
  
Vash looked up in astonishment, and spotted a large crowd of people around...  
  
'A tree?!?' He ran and shoved his way though, and what he saw astonished him. The ground was covered in rich, green grass. In the middle of it all stood the tree; a gigantic cherry blossom tree, it's sheer size overwhelming; it would take at least five full grown men, to barely encircle the trunk itself. White-pink blossom-covered branches spread out so far at least 35 people could stand comfortably underneath and be completely shaded. And it had to be at least two stories tall.  
  
But the thing that shocked him most, was the thing underneath the tree.  
  
Curled around the very base of the trunk, lay the largest four-legged animal Vash had ever seen. Golden fur, with the slightest hint of red, covered it's vast and slender body. Nine long, lush tails, attached to delicate, but strong, body, and attached to the body, was a slightly canine- looking head, with a narrow muzzle; two large, pert ears sat atop it's head.  
  
It was a fox.  
  
And lying next to it, was Saria's bag, and gun, with Saria nowhere in sight.  
  
*****  
  
Well, how did you people like it? I think one of the main reasons I haven't updated is because I have gotten as many reviews as I would've liked. Not to mention, I had kinda forgotten what happened in the episodes, on account of not watching Trigun for awhile.....But that's okay! I just bought the first Manga book! Faster updates are expected! Yippee! 


	11. The Four Elements

Weeelllll.... I didn't get many reviews. If you people want me to continue, you MUST, and I mean –MUST- review. I mean it. If I don't get adequate reviews, I update slower. If you think I was updating slow before, think again. You ain't seen nothing, yet. Oh yeah, on another note; I'm planning on writing a 'Choose Your Own Adventure' story for Trigun. You get to choose between Knives or Vash. I know ya'all will love it ~.^ Until then, I hope you enjoy this story!  
  
Disclaimer: "Ah! You silly, silly American types. Now, why would I be owning this Trigun? I did not create it, nor publish or animate it, you foolish creatures of American soil! Now, go away! I have snails that need eating!"  
  
~La Fromage Pengui  
  
Disclaimer2: Don't own Twinkies, cows, phobias, snails, or soil.  
  
************************  
  
The $$60,000,000,000 Rose  
  
************************  
  
Chapter 11: The Four Elements  
  
A long time ago, when the mortal man was still in his infancy, the Creator, tired of having to deal with the complaints of the ever-warring elementals, the creatures of Fire, Wind, Earth, and Water, called together the four oldest of the creatures that lived in on the earth itself; animals of fur and scale, claw and wing. These creatures just happened to be the white tiger, Tobihi*, the blue phoenix, Mizubashira*, the green Chinese serpent dragon, Zephyr*, and the oldest of the four, the golden, ninetailed fox, Yohko* Ishiki*. He said to them;  
  
'I grow tired of the accusations of the elements that I favor fire over water, or water over fire. Wind over earth, or earth over wind. It is to much for me. This job can not be done by one alone. I called you here, the eldest of the none-elemental creatures. Man cannot be trusted with this, for their minds corrupt with power, little or large. I will entrust each of you with the element of your choosing. Choose now the element you wish.'  
  
The first creature to speak up was Tobihi. 'I desire Fire. With it, I may no longer be afraid of Man, and be able to burn the sky, the forests, and Man himself! To make him burn with fevers, control his desires with Fire!' And Tobihi was granted thus. The Creator spoke.  
  
'You name is no longer Tobihi. Your name is Ignis*, for you are the Flame that comforts and kills.'  
  
The next to speak was Mizubashira.  
  
' I desire Water. With it, I may the power to defeat Fire! Without me, no living creature can live, or even be born.'  
  
And Mizubashira was granted thus. The Creator spoke.  
  
'Your name is no longer Mizubashira. Your name is Hydras*, for you are the thirst quenching stream, the raging river, the furious ocean.'  
  
The next to speak was Zephyr.  
  
'I desire Wind. Without me, nothing can breathe, no living creature, even fire! The sky and clouds will bend to my will, as will Fire and Water, for the Wind is the fuel for Fire, and the guiding hand of Water!'  
  
And Zephyr was granted thus. The Creator spoke.  
  
'Your name is no longer Zephyr. Your name is Kamikaze*, for you are the rolling breeze, the raging storm, the one that controls the air all things must breathe.'  
  
The last to speak was Yohko Ishiki.  
  
'I desire nothing. I would be content to watch out the world in the rest of my years, but since asked of me, and since no one seems to want it, I will choose Earth, and would have chosen it had I first choice. For without Earth, Fire would not have things to burn, or a place to burn, or even be born. For without Earth, Water would not have a home, and would be scattered across the Universe, lost within itself, would have no creature to give birth to. And without Earth, Wind would not exist, for Earth also controls the moon, and you would have no sky to rule over.'  
  
The Creator spoke, before granting Yohko Ishiki thus.  
  
'You speak with wisdom, and with understanding of things that are not unto your element. I will grant you control over Earth. You name is now Terra*, for you are the Earth, the trees, Mother Nature herself.'  
  
And thus it was done.  
  
***  
  
Saria gave a mental groan; her entire body hurt like a bitch. She carefully opened her eyes, and heard a loud, collected gasp. She opened them completely, and stared. It looked like the entire town was standing around her, staring with expressions of horror and fascination, while standing on a wealth of lush, green....Wait...Green?!?  
  
The entire ground was covered in grass.  
  
***  
  
Well, I know it's kinda short, but in the next chapter, a new Gung-Ho Gun is introduced, as well as.....DUN DUN DUUUNNNN! Holly Christianson! Who is that you ask? Well, be patient, and when I update again, you'll find out! Don't forget to R&R!  
  
Ja ne!  
  
PS. Special thanks to all the people who have reviewed so far. BTW, just so you all know, Saria is only mean to Vash because;  
  
1.He actually makes her nervous because 2.She really does like him a lot, and 3. She doesn't know how to deal with her infatuation, and it scares her, so 4. She acts like a bitch to him.  
  
PSS. Saria hasn't noticed the tree next to her. Not very observant, is she?  
  
*Tobihi- flying sparks, leaping flames  
  
*Mizubashira-waterspout  
  
*Zephyr- breeze  
  
*Yohko- enchanted fox  
  
*Ishiki- stone tree  
  
*Ignis- flame  
  
*Hydras- waterspout(A/N: Wait, wasn't that what her name meant in the first place? O.o)  
  
*Kamikaze- divine wind  
  
*Terra- earth  
  
*Vasch (prounounced vash)- French for cow  
  
*wanker- wanker  
  
*cold duck- champagne  
  
*Hippopotamonstreosisquippidaliaphobia- fear of long words  
  
*Twinkie©- a delicious golden, cream-filled treat 


	12. Falling from the Trees

Err…..hey. Sorry I haven't updated. Ehehehe ;

I'm very sorry to say, but I have not been able to find most of the character bios you, my readers, have sent me. I still have about two of them, I think. But just to be on the safe side, I will not be able to use two of them, at least until further notice. I'm very sorry. Feel free to throw rotten produce at me.

The Anime Crew, you were the one(s) who sent me the bio o Angel the daredevil, correct? Could you please send me that again?

Disclaimer: Geez, I don't own Trigun, got it?

The $$60,000,000,000 Rose

Chapter 11: Falling From The Trees

Vash watched, entranced, as this great, golden creature opened it's eyes. He gasped along with the crowd; The creatures eyes….as if they COULD be merely called eyes. No, simply calling them eyes was an insult. Deep and fathomless, they were an endlessly shifting miasma of gold and green, brown and black. To look into them was as if gazing into a forest that shifted endlessly, of deep, cool caves, of deserts sands, of rocky mountains. Calming orbs, ancient, yet holding the hint of a youthful wistfulness. It was if he was peering into the very heart of the earth, the firm soil, and seeing the birth of thousands of trees, flowers…..Like he could see the souls of all the things of nature…

Vash didn't notice Psyche quietly walking up from behind to stand beside him. Ryuuen stood not far away.

"Beautiful, isn't she?"

Vash, startled, looking down at her. Her voice sounded…different. It somehow reminded him of gentle winds, calming and cool, and carrying the voices of the past… Psyche glanced up at him, golden eyes seemingly older than her apparent years. Before he got a chance to say a word, she spoke again.

"Just because someone is of a different spirit, and appears to be of inhuman body, don't believe that they are all-powerful, without need for basic human emotions, or detached from the rest of the world. It just means that they are more vulnerable to rejection than the rest of humanity. Just remember that they are still human, for the most part."

"W..What are you talking about?"

Psyche smiled, a sad look in her eyes, before turning back to gaze at the golden fox in front of them.

"You know," her voice back to it's usual cheerfulness, the seemingly wind-like quality of her voice gone, "Miss Saria disappeared. I think that tree just burst out from underneath her feet. I hope she's okay…"

And yet again, before Vash had a chance to speak, something interrupted him.

The great golden fox suddenly lunged to it's feet, swaying slightly with it's mouth open, and let out a deafening scream.

Oh goddess, it _burned._ It felt like her bones were snapping, all at once. Her insides were shifting, burning. She lurched to her feet, and opened her sore jaws, screaming in a voice that was not her own, a unearthly wail of a piercing, earsplitting caliber, and then felt something like…tails swishing madly behinds her.

The people…the people who were watching her had screamed when she got up, and began scattering. As they ran, the ground began to buckle and toss, like waves…

Her scream slowly tapering off, she tried to take a step, but before she could, some large white-ish thing beside her buckled as well, and seemed to burst out of the ground, growing, taking her along for the ride. Her vision faded and she passed out, not knowing that she had become a fox, and only know was returning back to normal….

Still slightly in shock from gazing into that awesome creature's eyes, and witnessing the magnificence of the gargantuan tree before him, he jerked back as people began screaming and running away.

Snapping out of his stupor, he tried to make his way forward, eyes locked on the tree and the giant fox-creature, but was knocked back as a particularly large man smashed into Vash's side.

Vash pitched forward, his gaze thrown to the ground and his eye contact broken. BY the time he managed to right himself, the tree had grown twice as large, and the fox-creature was nowhere in site. Saria however….

She was dangling from a large exposed branch, around the top, and appeared to be unconscious. As he watched and hurried forward, a loud crack ripped through the air, and she plummeted towards the hard, unforgiving ground…

Unbeknownst to our heroes, a two pairs of fiery red eyes watched them from the shadows, although not together, oh no. One watched from afar, gaze unfeeling and stern, while the other….watched close by, from the shadows, bewilderment and shock carved into their depths…..

Well? How was it? I hope it was as good or better than I have been writing.

If you feel the need to tell me to move faster, drop me a line at username is Asreith. If you can't reach me there, send a message to my friend Fatalis Duex (at Gaiaonline, of course), telling him to bug me about it.

My username at Deviantart is DreamFox. I'm really, really sorry about the year+ long wait. If you would like to aid me in this going faster, e-Mail me an episode summary NOT, however, flood my e-mail with requests to hurry up and update. I am hurrying as fast as I can. I have a lot going on.

Plus, I'll try updating my CYOA. I'll be reposting the CYOA on E-fiction, since isn't CYOA savvy. Sorry.

Don't forget to R&R.

Ja ne!

Lady Kitsuna


	13. ANTemporaryPlease Read!

Okay, I've re-read the entire story, and I apologize to the one person I insulted. Although not completely, because you didn't have to be such a fcking asshole about it. This chapter is an author's note, but I will be replacing it as soon as I finish the next chapter.

Now that that has been said, I have an important announcement. I am re-vamping the entire story. I'm adding new story bits to all the chapters, because now that I'm older, and have gone through more English classes, and yadda yadda yadda, I've realized, "Why yes, it _is_ full of plot holes. It _could_ use some more detail. Damn, I was a really crappy writer…."

Hopefully, once I've redone them, things will make more sense. Again, I apologize. This brings up another point. I know I said I'd be updating more, but not until I'm done re-vamping all the other chapters, including the one I just posted. Consider that chapter a rough-draft preview of what's to come. And how about this: if you have any ideas, such as gags, scenes, and whatnot that you think would be good for the story, or that you'd like to see, drop me a line sure to put the subject of the e-mail as something like, 'Your Trigun story', or 'The $$60,000,000,000 Rose' or something that I will be sure to connect with the story. I have over two hundred e-mails I still haven't checked, and I get, on average, about 15-20 e-mails a week. Mostly chain-letters, e-mails from my ex-boyfriend(may he rot in hell), and spam. **DO NOT SEND ME CHAIN LETTERS! DO NOT SEND ME SPAM MAIL!**

Got it? If you feel that's not enough, send me a PM at GaiaOnline. My username, again, is Asreith. Again, as with the e-mail, do not send me spam or chain letters. And if you are not a member of GaiaOnline, WHY NOT? WHY AREN'T YOU? Join! It's really fun!

When it asks who referred you, type in my username, 'kay? I'm giving in to my selfish side and being greedy. I get gold(though not very much) for each referral. I think.

Well, that's all I can think of. Till later,

Ja Ne!

Lady Kitsuna


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